Stay strong

Its not the first time that I get comment that I am one strong person. In relation to the sad and trying time that I (and my family) went through last couple of years. 

The truth is, every time someone says that, I feel such a fraud. I don't believe that I deserve to take that compliment. Simply because what I went through is certainly not tragic enough as compared to many others. I have to say that I had it pretty easy or rather easier than many many others. If it has happened to me when my children were still young and I didn't have a permanent job and no relatives or friends to fall back to and still make it to the world, now that is what we can call one heck of a strong person! 

For me, after each turn of event, I just went on to accept the fact that "it is what it is" and the only way to go was to take the next step and move forward. And when dealing with cancer, there is never a sure thing. It can go either way. One just have to hope and pray after each treatment but prepare for the worst at the same time. While carrying on with the day to day as normal as one possibly can. The sixteen months that we went through from the date it was diagnosed have given us time to "prepare" ourselves emotionally.

The fact that I accept what happen around me more easily than others, does not make me one strong person. All I am doing is to apply what the poster say "Keep calm, Allah is here". In another word, I have total faith in what God has in store for me. Of course there was some period of grieving. After all I am only human. But I guess I get over and move on faster than some others. 

I also remember what my husband used to say. He said that there are many who are unhappy and always have something to complain about simply because they are never grateful with what they have. He said that we should count our blessing more often and realise that there are many others who are worse of than us. 

Anyway, keeping total faith in God's hand keeps us away from a lot of stress and headaches. Try it sometime!

May Allah bless us all and keep us steadfast in our faith in Him. Aameen.

Good nite Malaysia!

          

Paying forward

Here and Now

In a couple of days will be my official retirement date. There will be a big red X on my virtual calendar to mark one of my biggest history of my life.

Oh! In case anyone ask why I have been quiet, the answer is - I don't know why myself. It's not that I didn't want to write or didn't have the time to write or nothing to write about. I have a lot in my mind actualy. There were a few attempts. I started a couple of paragraph and abandoned half way through. I can say that my mind is pretty clutterred of late.  It is not as structured as it used to me. Another effect of retirement maybe. I told my girls that my brain has become befuddle duddle... 😁

Whats that? What have I been doing for the last 3 month? Plenty actually. Photos below show some of my favourite events and activities.

          

Time well spent with family and friends as well as plenty of opportunities to do what I like to do but never had the time before. Best of all, no work pressure and no traffic jam. Oh.  And bestest of all is that I get to balik kampung anytime without having to wait for the week end. Bliss! 

          

So anyway, insyaAllah I will be embarking in a long journey into the faraway land to fulfil a promise. If I get that visa, that is. 

With a little hope and a little prayer. 

Whatever Allah wills.

Have a great week end everyone!

Keredhaan Mu yang ku Pinta

Allah The All Knowing

With Him are the keys of the Unseen.

No one knows them but He.

He knows what is in the land and the sea.

No leaf ever falls but that He knows about it, 

and there is no grain in the dark layers of the earth, 

or anything fresh or dry that is not recorded in a manifest book. 

Surah Al-Naam 6:59

Tired Retiree

Lately I have this feeling that I should not be wearing too much pink. You know, an all pink jubah or baju kurung. Suddenly I feel that its not age appropriate anymore. 

The thing is, since when do I consider age in relation to any behaviour? Not before. Well ok. Except for physical activities that are lilmited due to health reasons or a wonky knee like in my case. So I figure this must be another post retirement blues. (See my earlier post). 

Actually, that was not the first thought that I have. There was also another behaviour which I brought up to my girls that I should not be doing. And they just grinned. Not saying yay or nay. So, me think that perhaps it not appropriate after all. But for the life of me, I couldn't remember what it was! Tsk. Tsk.

So seeing that now I have started to attend knowledge sharing sessions (majlis ilmu) on a regular basis, perhaps I do have to dress and behave more appropriately. Anyway, I can always make good use of a few jubah dress that I used during my period of eddah. Yup. Just the ticket. Plain. Dark. The funny things is the pink jubah dress that I bought were also purchased during my eddah days too. To be worn after my eddah to mark the end of my mourning period. So happened that there were days that I was bored out of my wit during those days I ended up doing quite a number of shopping on line. Tee hee....

Anyway, back to our topic. What are the age approriate behavior anyway? What do you think? For a women of the late 50ies? 

Do tell...! 

          

April Spring

When I decided to retire and do 'nothing' for a while or at least a year, some friends said that I will be bored after 3 months. April marks my third month of being a lady of leisure. I must say that it has not really been a total leisure in a sense for I have been busy here there and everywhere. And definitely not bored yet. With May promising to be an even more eventful month, insyaAllah ,  I will definitely pass the 3 months yardstick with flying colors. 😁

One thing though the pleasure of not having work pressure and I-can-do-anything-I-want flip-hair attitude is slowly wearing down. Especially after the national tragedy of flight MH370. I keep having this feeling of helplessness and I-wish-I-can-do-more creeping in more often than I like. Usually I can shake off any issues outside of my circle of influence easily. But this time the feeling still lingers. Somehow. I reckon the tragic incident has affected me more than it should. Not that I know anyone on the plane personally. 

I also find that I get riled up more easily. To some friends who suddenly find me being defensive and aggressive over the matter of how the govt is handling the situation, please bear with me. It must be post retirement blues. Well, I have to blame it on something. 😁

One thing for sure my feelings is still for the family of those on board MH370 and I have faith that our govt has done all the right thing in handling the situation. If there is any conspiracy or external politics or even worldwide politics, I am playing dumb for now. 

We shall wait and see. 

#UnitingMalaysia