A friend in Need

Today I visited a friend at the hospital who has a 7 year old daughter with a stage 4 cancer. It was discovered only like 2 weeks ago when her daughter complaint of a tummy ache and in just two weeks her body weight dropped and her tummy got bigger. Operation is not advisable for the moment but she will begin chemotherapy tomorrow.

Any parents would be devastated when being told that their child has a small percentage of surviving and we were just lost for words ourselves when told the news (which she only got to know a couple of hours before our visit)

I remember the time when a couple of our friends were going through cancer treatments, we tried to be there for them with our fullest support. We would take turn to be there throughout the chemo session, turned up in full force prior the operation, bought stuff that cancer patients needed, even bought a wig for one of them.

Even during those time, I used to wonder what is the best thing to say when we meet someone in such a situation? Some people would ask how she was doing and first timer would ask what type of cancer it was and what stage it was, etc. But I think by asking those questions would upset them more, don't you think? Not only they have to go through it, they have to be kept reminded of it by the visitors. Hence one of my friends chose not to tell anyone except for close friends and family. At that time, we were not sure that it was a wise decision but we respected her decision.

Now I realised that IT IS better that way. She was not bugged with the same question that new visitors would ask and the rest of us who visited and kept her company during the chemo sessions would make the day "normal" and fun for her without raising any subject relating to the big C.

Looking back I am happy to be able to give that support so much needed during those trying time. And I think that the best thing to do when you have a friend in need is just to be there for her and comfort her and let them know that she has all your support.

And there is this hadith too:

"A Muslim does not suffer any mental or physical anguish, or any distress, grief, pain or sorrow - even from the prick of a thorn - except that Allaah expiates his mistakes and sins." [Bukhaari and Muslim]

Good night.