Wednesday, 28 August 2013

CARA MEMBANTU ORANG YANG SUDAH MATI BERDASARKAN AL-QURAN DAN HADIS

After my last posting, I was asked what then can we do to help our dearly departed in their afterlife. Hence I googled and found the link below which in my opinion has enough detail of what we can do upon the demise of our loved one. Hope this has helped one way or another...


http://syededlee.tripod.com/keunggulanislam/id128.html

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O Allah! Ease upon him, his matters and make lightwork for him whatever comes hereafter and honour him with Your meeting and make that which he has gone to, better than that which he came out from. 

Ameen

HUKUM KENDURI ARWAH

Something else that I must share with everyone in relation to the wrong practice when there is death in the family is the "kenduri arwah". It is a practise that is actually not in the book of Islam. I wonder how it started. Anyway, we must not be pressured by family or friends to organise the 'kenduri arwah' just because its tradition. When it's wrong, we have to stop doing it. No two way about it. 
What should be the practise is for family or friends or neighbours to provide food for the deceased immediate family instead of the deceased immediate family providing food for others! After all they are grieving and at time in a state of shock therefore they should not be burden any further. 
Its not too late to change. No matter how challenging it is especially explaining it to the older relatives.
Anyway, I found a good and detailed write up with all the relevant supporting "dalil" and "hadith" with regards to this subject from a reliable source Ustaz Dr. Mohd Asri bin Zainul Abidin or known as MAZA on FB. With this knowledge it would be able to help us explain better.
 Lets be the catalyst of change! 
InsyaAllah.
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Hukum Kenduri Arwah

Soalan: Apakah agama menyuruh kita mengadakan kenduri atau jamuan sempena kematian seseorang yang dinamakan dengan kenduri arwah. Sesetengah ‘ustaz’ akan mencerca sesiapa yang tidak mahu buat dan menganggap sesiapa yang tidak buat kenduri arwah macam tidak menghormati mazhab al-Syafi’i. Apakah ini benar?


Jawapan: Sesuatu yang hendak dikaitkan dengan agama ini mestilah mempunyai dalil yang membuktikannya. Dalam masalah jamuan sempena kematian, sahabat Nabi bernama Jarir bin ‘Abdillah al-Bajali menyebut:

كُنَّا نَرَى الِاجْتِمَاعَ إِلَى أَهْلِ الْمَيِّتِ وَصَنْعَةَ الطَّعَامِ مِنْ النِّيَاحَةِ

Kami menganggap berhimpun kepada keluarga si mati dan menyediakan makanan termasuk dalam (hukum) al-Niyahah (meratapi mayat) (Riwayat Ahmad dan Ibn Majah; sanadnya sahih)

Berdasarkan kepada hadith, maka kenduri arwah bukan dari ajaran Islam, ia menyerupai perbuatan meratapi mayat yang dilarang oleh syarak. Maka, amalan itu adalah warisan jahiliyyah yang para sahabah elakkannya.

Malang sekali sesetengah pihak menganggap ini merupakan pendapat mazhab al-Syafi’i. Jawapan kita dalam masalah ini;

Pertama: pendapat siapa pun, mazhab apa pun jika berbeda dengan nas Allah dan rasulNya, maka apa yang ditegaskan oleh Allah dan rasul itu yang diperintahkan untuk kita pegang.

Kedua: karangan para ulama mazhab al-Syafi’i juga menunjukkan mereka tidak pernah menyukai perbuatan ini. Tokoh besar mazhab al-Syafi’i, al-Imam al-Nawawi (meninggal 676H) umpamanya dalam Al-Majmu’ Syarh al-Muhazzab menyetujui tokoh-tokoh mazhab al-Syafi’i yang membantah jamuan atau kenduri sempena kematian. Katanya: “adapun menyediakan makanan oleh keluarga si mati dan menghimpunkan orang ramai kepadanya adalah tidak diriwayatkan daripada Nabi s.a.w sedikit pun. Ia adalah bid’ah yang tidak disukai” (Al-Nawawi, al-Majmu’ Syarh al-Mahazzab, 5/320, Beirut: Dar al-Fikr.)

Demikian tokoh-tokoh semasa mazhab al-Imam al-Syafi’i, antaranya al-Syeikh Mustafa Khin, al-Syeikh Mustafa al-Bugha dan ‘Ali al-Syarbaji menulis dalam kitab mereka: “Daripada bid’ah apa yang dibuat oleh keluarga si mati adalah mengumpulkan orang ramai kepada makanan dengan munasabah yang dinamakan berlalunya empat puluh hari dan seumpamanya. Sekiranya perbelanjaan makanan tersebut dari harta peninggalan (si mati) dan di kalangan waris ada yang belum baligh, maka itu adalah dari perkara lebih haram. Ini kerana ia memakan harta benda anak yatim dan melenyapkannya bukan untuk kepentingan anak yatim tersebut. Terbabit juga dalam melakukan perbuatan haram ini setiap yang memanggil dan memakannya”.

Tambah mereka lagi: “Menyusahkan keluarga si mati dengan membuat makanan dan menghimpunkan orang ramai kepada makanan –seperti yang menjadi kebiasaan di zaman kini- adalah bid’ah yang bertentangan dengan sunnah dengan percanggahan yang amat sangat”. (Mustafa Khin, al-Syeikh Mustafa al-Bugha dan ‘Ali al-Syarbaji, Al-Fiqh al-Manhaji ‘ala Mazhab al-Imam al-Syafi’i, 1/263, Damsyik: Dar al-Qalam).

Bahkan kitab-kitab jawi Nusantara juga bertegas dalam masalah ini. Antara apa yang disebut oleh Syeikh Daud al-Fatani dalam Bughyah al-Talab: “(dan makruh) lagi bid’ah bagi orang yang kematian membuat makanan menserukan segala manusia atas memakan dia sama ada dahulu daripada menanam dia dan kemudian daripadanya seperti yang diadatkan kebanyakan manusia (dan demikian lagi) makruh lagi bid’ah bagi segala yang diserukan dia memperkenankan seruannya” (Daud al-Fatani, Bughyah al-Talab 2/34). Demikian juga kenyataan yang sama dibuat oleh al-Syeikh Muhammad Arsyad al-Banjari dalam Sabil al-Muhtadin (m.s 87), al-Syeikh Idris al-Marbawi dalam Bahr al-Mazi (7/130).

Kata Sayyid Sabiq dalam Fiqh al-Sunnah: Para imam (ilmuan besar) bersepakat tentang kemakruhan keluarga si mati menyediakan makanan untuk orang ramai lalu mereka berhimpun untuk jamuan tersebut. Demikian itu menambahkan kesusahan dan kesibukan keluarga si mati, juga menyerupai amalan masyarakat jahiliyyah. Ini berdasarkan hadis Jarir: “Kami menganggap berhimpun kepada keluarga si mati dan menyediakan makanan selepas pengebumian mayat termasuk dalam (hukum) al-Niyahah (meratapi mayat)”. Sebahagian ulama berpendapat perbuatan ini adalah haram”. (Fiqh al-Sunnah 1/508)

Maka perbuatan mengadakan kenduri sempena kematian adalah bid’ah, menyanggahi sunnah Nabi s.a.w.

ALLAH LEBIH MENGETAHUI
Dr. Mohd Asri bin Zainul Abidin


Tuesday, 20 August 2013

As time goes by...

A month has passed...

While I have been keeping myself busy with this and that be it at home and the office, I realised that there are many who are not familiar with the islamic law on "iddah". So, let me share a thing or two base on my own personal experience. 

Let us start with the definition of 'iddah' as found in babylon.com:
In Islamiddah or iddat (; period of waiting) is the period a woman must observe after the death of her spouse or after a divorce, during which she may not marry another man. The period, three months after a divorce and four months and ten days after the death of a spouse, is calculated on the number of menses that a woman has. Iddah was intended to ensure that the male parent of any offspring produced after the cessation of a nikah would be known.
End of quote.

Many a times I found myself having to explain to family and friends about this subject matter since the demise of my beloved husband a month ago. So allow me to take this opportunity to give a brief summary of the do's and don't's for women who are in a period of 'iddah' due to the death of her husband. 

First of all and most important of all, this is an islamic law (hukum syarak) as stipulated in  the Quran (refer to Surah Al Baqarah 2:234) hence it must not be taken lightly. The Quran states clearly that the period of iddah is 4 months and 10 days. Not 100 days or 3 months or whatever else. 

Secondly during this period the widow is forbidden (haram) from the following:
1) get engaged
2) get married
3) spend the night (or sleep over) in any other house other than the house lived with the late husband
4) leaving the house at any time unless its urgent and important
5) overly dressed

For item 1 and 2, the rational behind it is as stated in the definition of iddah above. While for item 3, 4 and 5, its meant to protect the women from malicious talk (fitnah). And in addition, during this time, women are so vulnerable and would easily becomes prey to unscrupulous men. Especially an ultra rich widow! 

I must emphasise further about the 'urgent and important' in item 4. Basically the rule is simple : unless its a matter of life and death, nothing else is urgent and important. Ok. Maybe with a few exception. I suggest that you check with your trusted ustaz or ustazah before you plan to do anything. For sure, it means no shopping, no hanging out at coffee shop, no sosial visit to family or friends even due to sickness and funeral. And it is not even recommended to do haj or umrah during the time of mourning.

And as for item 5, it is adviced during this period of mourning to be modestly dress to avoid attention and refrain from wearing make up, using perfume, wearing colourful dress (including shawl) and adorning jewelry. 

Anyway, I found a posting in a blog written with  a more detailed version in the following url: http://maznahsalamin.blogspot.com/2012/01/ayanglarangan-dalam-iddah.

It's exactly a month today since he was gone. Never a day that we don't miss him dearly and he is constantly in our doa: that he is granted jannah and be among the Chosen ones. Ameen.


Thursday, 8 August 2013

Blessed Memories

Change. It is not something that is easy for most. Even when it's for the better. Adapting oneself to make the change may take longer for some if one does not embrace the change.

And it gets even more difficult when you add matters of the heart into the equation...

Like a broken love affair for example. Or a failed marriage. 

Or death. Especially death of someone very close to you. Someone you practically live and breath with. Now I am not surprised when some people find it difficult to live and breath when something like this happens.

Worse still when it happens so suddenly. A road accident. A heart attack. Heart breaking indeed!

So. In a way, I feel blessed and thankful. Blessed that I have been given the time to prepare my self and my girls. Right from the beginning we have been hoping and praying for the best and yet preparing for the worst to happen. At any time. 

In addition, we had the good fortune to spend a lot of quality time together. Right till the end. So when it actually happened, it was hard, yes, but it did not feel like its the end of the world. I have to confess though that my brain actually went blank for awhile. I guess no matter how prepared we are we will never be totally prepared! Thanks goodness for friends and relatives who were there to take over matters at hand.

Concern friends and relatives frequently ask how we are doing. My usual answer is, it gets easier each day. Time heals, so they say. It has been only 20 days today after all. Of course we miss him.  Especially on a day like today.

Yup. We miss him dearly. And we will always will. But eventually every time we think of him, it will bring smiles instead of tears, laughter instead of sorrow. We will remember fondly of the many good times that we shared. Even the time when we were practically living in the hospital, we had some days of fun and laughter. Those precious moments will never be forgotten.

To all family members and friends, thank you for the kind thoughts, doa's, visits, and most important of all the emotional support extended to me and my girls during those trying time. We are eternally grateful for all you have done and only Allah can ever repay your heartfelt kindness. Jazakamullahu khairan kathira. May Allah rewards you an abundance eternal reward.

And in the occasion of the day, Eid Mubarak everyone! May Allah accepts our good deeds especially in  Ramadhan, and keep us steadfast in the straight path. Ameen.

Maaf zahir batin.