You know, I can't believe how insensitive some people can be. Don't they think before they speak and realise that some words can hurt?. Or they just don't care?
There were some instances in the past where I witnessed such occasions. Some of the common ones are:
'awat hang besaq sangat?' ( why are you So big?, in a northen slang), said a friend to another who has not seen each other for long. To me no matter how comfortable a person is with his/her big size, its still impolite to make an open remark like that in front of everyone else in such a loud voice. It will probably another long while before he/she will see this person.
'when are you getting married?' Or 'when are you having a baby?'. I honestly feel that all girls want to get married or have a baby someday. God willing. Perhaps they have problem finding a partner or has a broken relationship or have problem conceiving. It wont help to remind them of their failure to get married or have a baby.
Another thing is sometimes we forget that children even at young age are sensitive to what the adult have to say. We may not realise that they understood the implication of the remarks made and this may cause them to develop an inferiority complex and even sibling rivalry. This can happen when there are two or more children in a family and one of them happen to be darker than the other or does not look as cute as the others. And adult make remarks like "Eh, why is this one darker than the rest?" or "eh, yang ini comel lah (this one is so cute)" while paying a lot of attention to the cute one and ignoring the others.
Anyone watched the Disney cartoon movie "Bambi"? There was one scene where a rabbit named Thumper was reminded by his mother "if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all!"
I totally agree.
Monday 30 January 2012
Sunday 29 January 2012
Saturday 28 January 2012
Life Balance
Errr.....
There is also something else that we need to balance. To work for the hereafter too. Actually this is even more important. Having said that though, if we are doing our work in the office in the utmost sincerity and carried out our responsibilities well (amanah), then we will have the benefits of both earthly rewards as well as the hereafter. At the same time of course we must not be forgetting the prayers, zakat and sadakah, fasting in the month of ramadhan, and so on....
I find that its not too difficult to do all that if we have the discipline. And the determination to get it done and giving it certain level of priorities no matter how busy we are at the office. The daily prayers I mean. 5 times a day every day. Someone quoted in FB recently that a high percentage of Muslim never did the complete 5 times a day. My guess is most would miss Subuh or morning prayer. Most likely the young ones who would always sleep in. Or maybe Isya' for those who worked late and too tired to even change from their work clothes and gone too sleep before doing their prayers.
Whatever, our religion is actually quite simple. But it requires determination and discipline. And determination and discipline are quite key to our daily life actually if we really think about it. Not just in our personal life but also in our work life.
Take for example for someone who wants to go on a diet. Or someone who want to further their studies. Or someone who want to make good sales. The list can go on and on.
But of course there are those who can do all the above who still fail to do their prayers. That of course is a matter of getting their priorities right.
Well, I told my two girls, when they are looking for a husband in the future, the most important thing is that he must have that discipline and priorities to do their daily prayers.
Of course there are other conditions too on top of that. But I will not go into that. Tee hee.....
Have a good week end people!
There is also something else that we need to balance. To work for the hereafter too. Actually this is even more important. Having said that though, if we are doing our work in the office in the utmost sincerity and carried out our responsibilities well (amanah), then we will have the benefits of both earthly rewards as well as the hereafter. At the same time of course we must not be forgetting the prayers, zakat and sadakah, fasting in the month of ramadhan, and so on....
I find that its not too difficult to do all that if we have the discipline. And the determination to get it done and giving it certain level of priorities no matter how busy we are at the office. The daily prayers I mean. 5 times a day every day. Someone quoted in FB recently that a high percentage of Muslim never did the complete 5 times a day. My guess is most would miss Subuh or morning prayer. Most likely the young ones who would always sleep in. Or maybe Isya' for those who worked late and too tired to even change from their work clothes and gone too sleep before doing their prayers.
Whatever, our religion is actually quite simple. But it requires determination and discipline. And determination and discipline are quite key to our daily life actually if we really think about it. Not just in our personal life but also in our work life.
Take for example for someone who wants to go on a diet. Or someone who want to further their studies. Or someone who want to make good sales. The list can go on and on.
But of course there are those who can do all the above who still fail to do their prayers. That of course is a matter of getting their priorities right.
Well, I told my two girls, when they are looking for a husband in the future, the most important thing is that he must have that discipline and priorities to do their daily prayers.
Of course there are other conditions too on top of that. But I will not go into that. Tee hee.....
Have a good week end people!
Friday 27 January 2012
Salam Jumaat
This hadith was send to me by a friend (thanks Noi!) and I thought its appropriate to share especially with the topics that I posted in the last two entries. I do believe that the characteristics mentioned below are also traits of a good leader. Well, maybe not so much the 'gentle' part, (I sure know leaders who are aggressive but remain kindly) but definitely the rest.
Bosses and Leaders
While writing the last post, it crossed my mind; what makes a good leader? Are they born with good leadership trait? Or was it developed along the way?
I always believe that what ever we do, we can do it well if it comes from the heart. With sincerity comes the passion. And passion can ignite and influence the behavior of the people to form a dynamic team. Question is; Can sincerity be developed?
Take a Harvard scholar who has good business acumen and is able to develop sound business strategy that has the potential to bring the company to a new level. Is that enough to make him be a good leader?
Maybe we can start with what is the definition of a good leader or leadership. Simply put a leader is a person who influences a group of people towards the achievement of a goal. Let me google a few more....
Business Dictionary
A person that holds a dominant or superior position within his fields and is able to exercise a high degree of control or influence over others.
Susan Ward, Business Writer About.com
Leadership is the art of motivating a group of people to act towards achieving a common goal. Effective leadership is based upon ideas but wont happen unless those ideas can be communicated to others in a way that engages them.
There are more detail definition of Leaders and Leadership but I will stop just there but do look up the definition by BrainyQuote, its really funny!
According to an author and motivator Rajeev Peshawaria, there are too many Bosses, too few Leaders. That is in fact the title of his book. The book tells you how to be a good leader. Interestingly, he said in his book that "one of the biggest reasons for the abundance of poor or mediocre leaders is that people accept leadership position for the wrong reasons. They either do so for personal fame, fortune or glory or are picked to fill the position of leadership based on technical expertise alone. Leadership is not about personal fame and fortune alone. There is nothing wrong with working for self interest, most of us do, but leadership needs a purpose bigger than self-interest. Personal fame and fortune should be a by-product of Leadership"
The old saying of "Lead Yourself to lead Others" is so true. But it still doesn't answer my question: Are great leaders born or can they be developed?
I always believe that what ever we do, we can do it well if it comes from the heart. With sincerity comes the passion. And passion can ignite and influence the behavior of the people to form a dynamic team. Question is; Can sincerity be developed?
Take a Harvard scholar who has good business acumen and is able to develop sound business strategy that has the potential to bring the company to a new level. Is that enough to make him be a good leader?
Maybe we can start with what is the definition of a good leader or leadership. Simply put a leader is a person who influences a group of people towards the achievement of a goal. Let me google a few more....
Business Dictionary
A person that holds a dominant or superior position within his fields and is able to exercise a high degree of control or influence over others.
Leadership is the art of motivating a group of people to act towards achieving a common goal. Effective leadership is based upon ideas but wont happen unless those ideas can be communicated to others in a way that engages them.
There are more detail definition of Leaders and Leadership but I will stop just there but do look up the definition by BrainyQuote, its really funny!
According to an author and motivator Rajeev Peshawaria, there are too many Bosses, too few Leaders. That is in fact the title of his book. The book tells you how to be a good leader. Interestingly, he said in his book that "one of the biggest reasons for the abundance of poor or mediocre leaders is that people accept leadership position for the wrong reasons. They either do so for personal fame, fortune or glory or are picked to fill the position of leadership based on technical expertise alone. Leadership is not about personal fame and fortune alone. There is nothing wrong with working for self interest, most of us do, but leadership needs a purpose bigger than self-interest. Personal fame and fortune should be a by-product of Leadership"
The old saying of "Lead Yourself to lead Others" is so true. But it still doesn't answer my question: Are great leaders born or can they be developed?
Wednesday 25 January 2012
Work Life
While we are talking about work, it would certainly help to have a more balance life if we are happy with what we do and with the people who we work with.
I personally find that work is almost the same anywhere I go. Only the people have changed. (In the earlier years, I only need to do as per directed by my superior and later on, I only need to apply my experience and change the strategy accordingly with the nature of the work).This is my conclusion after working in 9 different departments in a single company. And to me when we work with people who have the same passion and the same 'direction' with you, it will not be too difficult to enjoy the time spent in the office. And when we achieve a goal, it can be such a blast!
My personal findings also shows that its not too difficult to get along with others if we focus on people's strength and use their strength to get the work done. The only trouble is when the strength does not match the job. Then it can be frustrating. Be it your peer or your subordinates. Worse still if its your Boss. Boy, that can be such a pain.
Lucky for me, I have been blessed with great people to work with wherever I was. Even during those years when I was the CEO of subsidiary company, I had wonderful Board of Directors. Work has never been a chore to me. Well, ok. I maybe lying if I say that all my Bosses were wonderful too. There was one or two in my earlier days who were a bit of a pain, but then I was young and full of ideas and they were a whole generation apart. What do you expect? Luckily for me it was only for a short term. Phew! I am never a person who can remain quiet if I feel strongly about something. I will fight till the end! Ha ha!
Looking back, yes, there were jobs in the past that achieved sweet success which make me smile even today. But what make me really smile is the people that I met along the way who still remembers me kindly even after oh! so many years. And even better still when you meet someone in your past who told you that you have made a difference in their life. Aaaah....Heart warming, food for your soul.
Well, here is a quote from Joan Boysenko:
If our actions stem from honesty, kindness, caring and vision, then no matter what the result of our efforts, we have added something of value to our souls and to the world.
May Allah blesses us all. Good nite.
I personally find that work is almost the same anywhere I go. Only the people have changed. (In the earlier years, I only need to do as per directed by my superior and later on, I only need to apply my experience and change the strategy accordingly with the nature of the work).This is my conclusion after working in 9 different departments in a single company. And to me when we work with people who have the same passion and the same 'direction' with you, it will not be too difficult to enjoy the time spent in the office. And when we achieve a goal, it can be such a blast!
My personal findings also shows that its not too difficult to get along with others if we focus on people's strength and use their strength to get the work done. The only trouble is when the strength does not match the job. Then it can be frustrating. Be it your peer or your subordinates. Worse still if its your Boss. Boy, that can be such a pain.
Lucky for me, I have been blessed with great people to work with wherever I was. Even during those years when I was the CEO of subsidiary company, I had wonderful Board of Directors. Work has never been a chore to me. Well, ok. I maybe lying if I say that all my Bosses were wonderful too. There was one or two in my earlier days who were a bit of a pain, but then I was young and full of ideas and they were a whole generation apart. What do you expect? Luckily for me it was only for a short term. Phew! I am never a person who can remain quiet if I feel strongly about something. I will fight till the end! Ha ha!
Looking back, yes, there were jobs in the past that achieved sweet success which make me smile even today. But what make me really smile is the people that I met along the way who still remembers me kindly even after oh! so many years. And even better still when you meet someone in your past who told you that you have made a difference in their life. Aaaah....Heart warming, food for your soul.
Well, here is a quote from Joan Boysenko:
If our actions stem from honesty, kindness, caring and vision, then no matter what the result of our efforts, we have added something of value to our souls and to the world.
May Allah blesses us all. Good nite.
Tuesday 24 January 2012
Monday 23 January 2012
Wedding Vows
'Talking' about weddings, it reminds me of my own. That was like more than 20 years ago. Those days, weddings were simple. And organising them were, I guess also simpler. Now weddings seems to be such an elaborate events that would take a whole new experience in organising them. It seems that everyone wants to have a wedding bigger and better that the last one.
Recalling my own, I must say that my own wedding was kind of smaller that the average as I didn't have the 'bersanding' ceremony. Those days,even though I didn't know that it is a practice that is not encouraged by the religion, my then future husband and I decided to do away with the 'bersanding' ceremony simply because we both did not want to be too much in everyone's focus and attention.
We arranged it such that the official vow was set at 11 am and by 12 we were officially husband and wife. Immediately after we had the wedding feast. By 4 pm or thereabout, the last guests had their meal and left. I remember that all I had to worry about was the 'hantaran' and the wedding dress (and there was only one single dress!) while my Mum took care of the wedding feast and the invitation list and my Dad took care of the Imam and the PA system.
(Now about the PA system, I think those days we were among the first to use the PA system for the official wedding ceremony which actually made the groom even more nervous as everyone can hear the vows. Which was the whole point. I remember my Dad saying that the people who were busy in the kitchen did not have the opportunity to witness the event as they were busy with their duties therefore the least that he could do was to make sure that they can hear the official vows been made. It also helped that it was his line of business hence he couldn't not have it, can he? Hee...)
Anyway, I have 2 daughters of my own who will one day be getting married. No, not anytime soon. Nevertheless, I just hope that when the time comes they would opt for a simple wedding. A simple yet beautiful wedding.
InsyaAllah.
Recalling my own, I must say that my own wedding was kind of smaller that the average as I didn't have the 'bersanding' ceremony. Those days,even though I didn't know that it is a practice that is not encouraged by the religion, my then future husband and I decided to do away with the 'bersanding' ceremony simply because we both did not want to be too much in everyone's focus and attention.
We arranged it such that the official vow was set at 11 am and by 12 we were officially husband and wife. Immediately after we had the wedding feast. By 4 pm or thereabout, the last guests had their meal and left. I remember that all I had to worry about was the 'hantaran' and the wedding dress (and there was only one single dress!) while my Mum took care of the wedding feast and the invitation list and my Dad took care of the Imam and the PA system.
(Now about the PA system, I think those days we were among the first to use the PA system for the official wedding ceremony which actually made the groom even more nervous as everyone can hear the vows. Which was the whole point. I remember my Dad saying that the people who were busy in the kitchen did not have the opportunity to witness the event as they were busy with their duties therefore the least that he could do was to make sure that they can hear the official vows been made. It also helped that it was his line of business hence he couldn't not have it, can he? Hee...)
Anyway, I have 2 daughters of my own who will one day be getting married. No, not anytime soon. Nevertheless, I just hope that when the time comes they would opt for a simple wedding. A simple yet beautiful wedding.
InsyaAllah.
Customs and Traditions.
A friend wrote in FB on how he misses the old traditional ways of celebrating the Chinese New Year. I believe like other old customs this may be as a result of modernisation and somehow at times some good customs were done away in the expense of modern life style.
On the other hand, there are some customs that we can do without. Not only it will save time and money (for example an elaborate wedding customs) but at times they are even against the religion (there is a long list of this but I shall not go into the detail right now). Its just that some of them has been practiced from one generation after another and they just get carried on and on. Until someone pointed out that it was wrong. Unfortunately for some, its difficult to stop doing something that have been practiced for so long.
I am glad that my sister had a simple but beautiful wedding for her only daughter. She did away with the traditional bersanding ceremony. And yet the wedding was still so magical and memorable. I just love the theme and decoration for the akad nikah and the lunch reception which were at two different locations. (the backdrop for the akad nikah was uploaded a couple of days ago and I shall upload the decoration of the hall where the lunch reception was held)
It just goes to show that its not so difficult to change if we really put our mind to it. Yes, change can be difficult sometimes. No, scratch that. Change is difficult most of the time. But it can be done if we are steadfast and truly believe that its for the better. Its all in the mind.
P.S. May the young couple have a blessed life together and be happily ever after. Amin.
On the other hand, there are some customs that we can do without. Not only it will save time and money (for example an elaborate wedding customs) but at times they are even against the religion (there is a long list of this but I shall not go into the detail right now). Its just that some of them has been practiced from one generation after another and they just get carried on and on. Until someone pointed out that it was wrong. Unfortunately for some, its difficult to stop doing something that have been practiced for so long.
I am glad that my sister had a simple but beautiful wedding for her only daughter. She did away with the traditional bersanding ceremony. And yet the wedding was still so magical and memorable. I just love the theme and decoration for the akad nikah and the lunch reception which were at two different locations. (the backdrop for the akad nikah was uploaded a couple of days ago and I shall upload the decoration of the hall where the lunch reception was held)
It just goes to show that its not so difficult to change if we really put our mind to it. Yes, change can be difficult sometimes. No, scratch that. Change is difficult most of the time. But it can be done if we are steadfast and truly believe that its for the better. Its all in the mind.
P.S. May the young couple have a blessed life together and be happily ever after. Amin.
Friday 20 January 2012
It starts with a Dream
This will be the backdrop for the official wedding ceremony or akad nikah on this coming Saturday.
Beautiful isn't it?
Beautiful isn't it?
Thursday 19 January 2012
Wednesday 18 January 2012
Sibling and Bonding
Another big family event is happening this week end. In fact this one is going to be bigger. One of my sisters is marrying off her only daughter. And the groom-to-be is also family. One of our cousins' son.
Marriage within the family will certainly brings the family closer. Unless the marriage goes wrong. And the opposite may happen.
But thats not what the subject matter that I am putting forth. Its about the pre-event activites. Planning a big event is no joke. More so a big wedding. Parents and brides and grooms-to-be would have to start planning at least a year ahead. For those who plan to have the event in a community hall or hotels may have to make the reservation much much earlier. Especially on some auspicious dates. Once that is done then the theme for the wedding can be formulated and the theme colour decided upon. With the theme or concept agreed upon by all, then the invitation cards can be designed and the wedding attire can be sent to the tailor to have it custom made. The rest will follow. The pelamin, the hantaran, the deco for the bedroom and the hall, the little 'door' gifts, the menu, the Imam, and on and on. At times it would feel that there are one hundred and one thing to do in such a little time.
Sounds like hard work right? Yup! And then some. Thats why for big do parents would outsource the job to a wedding planner. Saves a lot of headache. And then some!
I was involved in organising a much smaller wedding a month back where only immediate family were invited. I found that it was a lot of fun. We did almost everything ourselves. Even the wedding feast. So happen we have a small time caterer in the family. So happen we have a part time photographer in the family and we have a make up artist in the family and have a tailor in the family. I was given the task to decorate the bedroom and I absolutely loved doing it as I was given the carte blanc on how I want it done. In the end, I do believe that the siblings got closer as a result of the whole event.
This time its going to be different though. A whole lot more to be done.
I will start my leave tomorrow. 2 days before the big event. Even though there are tons to do in the office. All in the name of family.
Here's wishing that we will have a bright and sunny day. And all will go well according to plan.
InsyaAllah.
Marriage within the family will certainly brings the family closer. Unless the marriage goes wrong. And the opposite may happen.
But thats not what the subject matter that I am putting forth. Its about the pre-event activites. Planning a big event is no joke. More so a big wedding. Parents and brides and grooms-to-be would have to start planning at least a year ahead. For those who plan to have the event in a community hall or hotels may have to make the reservation much much earlier. Especially on some auspicious dates. Once that is done then the theme for the wedding can be formulated and the theme colour decided upon. With the theme or concept agreed upon by all, then the invitation cards can be designed and the wedding attire can be sent to the tailor to have it custom made. The rest will follow. The pelamin, the hantaran, the deco for the bedroom and the hall, the little 'door' gifts, the menu, the Imam, and on and on. At times it would feel that there are one hundred and one thing to do in such a little time.
Sounds like hard work right? Yup! And then some. Thats why for big do parents would outsource the job to a wedding planner. Saves a lot of headache. And then some!
I was involved in organising a much smaller wedding a month back where only immediate family were invited. I found that it was a lot of fun. We did almost everything ourselves. Even the wedding feast. So happen we have a small time caterer in the family. So happen we have a part time photographer in the family and we have a make up artist in the family and have a tailor in the family. I was given the task to decorate the bedroom and I absolutely loved doing it as I was given the carte blanc on how I want it done. In the end, I do believe that the siblings got closer as a result of the whole event.
This time its going to be different though. A whole lot more to be done.
I will start my leave tomorrow. 2 days before the big event. Even though there are tons to do in the office. All in the name of family.
Here's wishing that we will have a bright and sunny day. And all will go well according to plan.
InsyaAllah.
Tuesday 17 January 2012
Retirement Plan
I have been thinking. What will I do upon my retirement. It is about a year away. Time do fly you know and a year will pass in a blink of an eye.
I am looking forward to my retirement actually. But I am sure I will get tired being a lady of leisure after a few months. So I have to start thinking and plan my options. Hmmm....
I would love to do more travelling for sure. In fact I promised an old friend in Canada to pay her a visit once I retire. Since its such a long and most likely an expensive flight I might as well make it worthwhile and stay for at least two weeks. Perhaps even a month! So that would probably be the first place that I would go.
And Turkey. Another friend there. And never been there. Hmmmm....
Travelling cost money though. How to top up my saving? Hmmmmmm..........
Ideally I would want to do something that I enjoy, that pays. (Yes, I know. Who doesn't?) It doesnt have to pay much. Just enough to pay for the car and food and medical insurance. Difinitely have to fork out the vacation on my own.
So, better start thinking! Or the vacation will be out of the question!
Hmmmmmmmm.......
I am looking forward to my retirement actually. But I am sure I will get tired being a lady of leisure after a few months. So I have to start thinking and plan my options. Hmmm....
I would love to do more travelling for sure. In fact I promised an old friend in Canada to pay her a visit once I retire. Since its such a long and most likely an expensive flight I might as well make it worthwhile and stay for at least two weeks. Perhaps even a month! So that would probably be the first place that I would go.
And Turkey. Another friend there. And never been there. Hmmmm....
Travelling cost money though. How to top up my saving? Hmmmmmm..........
Ideally I would want to do something that I enjoy, that pays. (Yes, I know. Who doesn't?) It doesnt have to pay much. Just enough to pay for the car and food and medical insurance. Difinitely have to fork out the vacation on my own.
So, better start thinking! Or the vacation will be out of the question!
Hmmmmmmmm.......
Monday 16 January 2012
A friend in Need
Today I visited a friend at the hospital who has a 7 year old daughter with a stage 4 cancer. It was discovered only like 2 weeks ago when her daughter complaint of a tummy ache and in just two weeks her body weight dropped and her tummy got bigger. Operation is not advisable for the moment but she will begin chemotherapy tomorrow.
Any parents would be devastated when being told that their child has a small percentage of surviving and we were just lost for words ourselves when told the news (which she only got to know a couple of hours before our visit)
I remember the time when a couple of our friends were going through cancer treatments, we tried to be there for them with our fullest support. We would take turn to be there throughout the chemo session, turned up in full force prior the operation, bought stuff that cancer patients needed, even bought a wig for one of them.
Even during those time, I used to wonder what is the best thing to say when we meet someone in such a situation? Some people would ask how she was doing and first timer would ask what type of cancer it was and what stage it was, etc. But I think by asking those questions would upset them more, don't you think? Not only they have to go through it, they have to be kept reminded of it by the visitors. Hence one of my friends chose not to tell anyone except for close friends and family. At that time, we were not sure that it was a wise decision but we respected her decision.
Now I realised that IT IS better that way. She was not bugged with the same question that new visitors would ask and the rest of us who visited and kept her company during the chemo sessions would make the day "normal" and fun for her without raising any subject relating to the big C.
Looking back I am happy to be able to give that support so much needed during those trying time. And I think that the best thing to do when you have a friend in need is just to be there for her and comfort her and let them know that she has all your support.
And there is this hadith too:
"A Muslim does not suffer any mental or physical anguish, or any distress, grief, pain or sorrow - even from the prick of a thorn - except that Allaah expiates his mistakes and sins." [Bukhaari and Muslim]
Good night.
Any parents would be devastated when being told that their child has a small percentage of surviving and we were just lost for words ourselves when told the news (which she only got to know a couple of hours before our visit)
I remember the time when a couple of our friends were going through cancer treatments, we tried to be there for them with our fullest support. We would take turn to be there throughout the chemo session, turned up in full force prior the operation, bought stuff that cancer patients needed, even bought a wig for one of them.
Even during those time, I used to wonder what is the best thing to say when we meet someone in such a situation? Some people would ask how she was doing and first timer would ask what type of cancer it was and what stage it was, etc. But I think by asking those questions would upset them more, don't you think? Not only they have to go through it, they have to be kept reminded of it by the visitors. Hence one of my friends chose not to tell anyone except for close friends and family. At that time, we were not sure that it was a wise decision but we respected her decision.
Now I realised that IT IS better that way. She was not bugged with the same question that new visitors would ask and the rest of us who visited and kept her company during the chemo sessions would make the day "normal" and fun for her without raising any subject relating to the big C.
Looking back I am happy to be able to give that support so much needed during those trying time. And I think that the best thing to do when you have a friend in need is just to be there for her and comfort her and let them know that she has all your support.
And there is this hadith too:
"A Muslim does not suffer any mental or physical anguish, or any distress, grief, pain or sorrow - even from the prick of a thorn - except that Allaah expiates his mistakes and sins." [Bukhaari and Muslim]
Good night.
Sunday 15 January 2012
Mothers' Love
As my friends and I were talking about our children, it dawned to me that we as parents never stopped "mothering" our children no matter how old they are. There will never be the time to completely "let go". And I believe this is true not only with daughters.
My two girls were lucky enough to experience the boarding school in their year 4 and 5 in their secondary school. Which I believe was a good platform for them to learn to be independant before they venture into the world of college life. Even then, the kind of up bringing that they were conditioned in today's lifestyle, it may not fully equipt them to face the challenges without help.
I mean they were brought up "differently", they are more "protected" if you know what I mean. In my growing up days parents did not have to worry about serial killers and child kidnapping. I remember my childhood days being full of fun and freedom to play away from the house with my neighbourhood friends, playing kites in the nearby field, catching fish with the boys and playing 'masak-masak' with the girls. Sometimes I would not even be home for lunch as I would eat in whoever's house I happened to be. Such precious memories.
Anyway, should we blame the society or ourself if we failed to bring up our children to be independant and street smart? As parents we often made decisions for them as best as we could. What we feel was best for them at that particular moment even if they refused to talk to you for days after. We tried to teach them good morals and responsibilities. To study hard for their future and to do their daily prayers. To respect others and do their bit for the environment. In short we tried our level best to bring them up to be good. A good daughter (or son), a good friend, a good servant (to Allah), good at their studies, etc, etc. Sounds like a lot of pressure to me..... Well, we do take time to have fun in between with the dinners and movies. And lots of shopping too. Hee....
To get back to the crux of the matters, as parents we never stopped worrying about our children. No matter how old they are. Even after they are married and have their own family I am sure (even though I have not gone through that phase yet).
But my husband always reminds me that we can only do so much. We have to leave the rest in God's good hand. They have to go out into the world on their own and learn from their own mistakes. We can send reminders every now and then, but ultimately, they have to carve out their own life.
Hopefully as they go through their own life, they would apply some of the principles that we have tried to instill in them. And later on become good parents themselves.....
Amen to that.
My two girls were lucky enough to experience the boarding school in their year 4 and 5 in their secondary school. Which I believe was a good platform for them to learn to be independant before they venture into the world of college life. Even then, the kind of up bringing that they were conditioned in today's lifestyle, it may not fully equipt them to face the challenges without help.
I mean they were brought up "differently", they are more "protected" if you know what I mean. In my growing up days parents did not have to worry about serial killers and child kidnapping. I remember my childhood days being full of fun and freedom to play away from the house with my neighbourhood friends, playing kites in the nearby field, catching fish with the boys and playing 'masak-masak' with the girls. Sometimes I would not even be home for lunch as I would eat in whoever's house I happened to be. Such precious memories.
Anyway, should we blame the society or ourself if we failed to bring up our children to be independant and street smart? As parents we often made decisions for them as best as we could. What we feel was best for them at that particular moment even if they refused to talk to you for days after. We tried to teach them good morals and responsibilities. To study hard for their future and to do their daily prayers. To respect others and do their bit for the environment. In short we tried our level best to bring them up to be good. A good daughter (or son), a good friend, a good servant (to Allah), good at their studies, etc, etc. Sounds like a lot of pressure to me..... Well, we do take time to have fun in between with the dinners and movies. And lots of shopping too. Hee....
To get back to the crux of the matters, as parents we never stopped worrying about our children. No matter how old they are. Even after they are married and have their own family I am sure (even though I have not gone through that phase yet).
But my husband always reminds me that we can only do so much. We have to leave the rest in God's good hand. They have to go out into the world on their own and learn from their own mistakes. We can send reminders every now and then, but ultimately, they have to carve out their own life.
Hopefully as they go through their own life, they would apply some of the principles that we have tried to instill in them. And later on become good parents themselves.....
Amen to that.
Saturday 14 January 2012
FAITH....
Found this on my FB this morning and I thought its very comforting:
Quote
If what's ahead scares you and what's behind hurts you, then just look above..... Allah never fails to help you. Trust him.
Unquote
Faith. It's something that doesn't come easy for some. But if one has gone through the love and hurt (not just in a relationship), to have faith in the higher being will keep the sense of balance and keep one from going crazy. Call it Karma or whatever you like, but what goes round do comes around. Its just that sometimes some people are just too stubborn to see it.
I would like to dedicate this post to my two girls. They are at that age where they are facing many challenges in their current life with many scares and hurts. College life....
Quote
If what's ahead scares you and what's behind hurts you, then just look above..... Allah never fails to help you. Trust him.
Unquote
Faith. It's something that doesn't come easy for some. But if one has gone through the love and hurt (not just in a relationship), to have faith in the higher being will keep the sense of balance and keep one from going crazy. Call it Karma or whatever you like, but what goes round do comes around. Its just that sometimes some people are just too stubborn to see it.
I would like to dedicate this post to my two girls. They are at that age where they are facing many challenges in their current life with many scares and hurts. College life....
THE NAILS IN THE FENCE
I just received this and thought it was a great reminder for us all.....
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.
He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, 'You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence.. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. But It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one..
Editor's Note: you know the saying, its easier to forgive but harder to forget? Well, that is so true. But of course the pain gets less as time goes by..... Until its totally forgotten.
Nature Lover
I have taken up photography as a hobby a few years back and I really enjoy taking photos of nature. The first time I took photos of the flowers and leaves and fruits and anything and everything, around my parents house, the outcome was really encouraging and that spured me to learn more. Since then I have taken up a few classes to improve my photography technique. (No, I have no intention to turn pro. Hee..). But I find that photography is really an exhilarating hobby. I found that it's most rewarding when I am able to capture the expression on a person's face or the vibrant colours of a flower or the stillness of a sunset.
During a recent flight I tried to capture photos of the fluffy cloud that we could only see while we are up on air. Cloud formation is simply amazing and I never get tired of the awesome nature at its finest. Nothing beats God's finest creation. I am just totally fascinated and yet I don't believe that I will ever be able to capture a good 'shot' of it. Not easy to capture the texture of the cloud on paper.
So instead, here are some photos of the Rangoon Creepers which happened to be part of my fence. This is another fascinating God's creation. The buds are white initially but they will turn soft pink as they start to bloom and then turn bright pink at full bloom. To top it all, they give out a sweet fragrance at night. The fragrance would really perk me up when I got home after dark from work and I swear they release some stress away.
Best therapy nature can give, don't you think?
Friday 13 January 2012
TGIF
Everyone looks forward to Friday. Even me who is in the 5 series club (BBM or whatsapp me if you don't know what this means. Hee...)
I look forward to my week end where I would have some quality time with my two girls and have some time on my own. While my other half goes for his week end golfing, I would go for my massage or spa and a bit of shopping (I am one of the rare wifies who never complains about the hubby golfing every week end!). Grocery shopping is of course one of the week end agenda!
Every now and then, I would have an enjoyable time with my girlfriends for lunch or tea. Staying in touch with friends old and new are treasured moments for me.
Even when its my turn to pay for the lunch/tea, the time spent together is still priceless.
Have a good week end peeps!
I look forward to my week end where I would have some quality time with my two girls and have some time on my own. While my other half goes for his week end golfing, I would go for my massage or spa and a bit of shopping (I am one of the rare wifies who never complains about the hubby golfing every week end!). Grocery shopping is of course one of the week end agenda!
Every now and then, I would have an enjoyable time with my girlfriends for lunch or tea. Staying in touch with friends old and new are treasured moments for me.
Even when its my turn to pay for the lunch/tea, the time spent together is still priceless.
Have a good week end peeps!
Thursday 12 January 2012
You are Beautiful!
Time for another song folks. This is another inspirational song for me. Dedicated to all my Sisters! (not only my blood sisters, that also means you my friend)
Good night!
Life goes on....
I had difficulty getting up this morning. No, its not usual on a non-Monday morning. My tummy didn't feel too good and my body ached all over. (Excuse me, did I hear you say; Its probably a sign of age....?). These kind of days often makes me wonder what is the meaning of life and what is my purpose in life.
As I was lying in bed (after telling my secretary that I would be late), I recalled a session with Dr Fatma where she talked about how to be happy and stay happy in life. I mean, everyone knows that having everything doesn't mean that you are happy. Dr Fatma has given 12 Do's and Don't's which I will talk about in future post (well maybe some of them), but in summary the main two things according to her are
1. to be steadfast ('bersabar') and 'redha'(wholeheartedly agree to the decision to what Allah has decided upon) upon any calamities
2. to be grateful for every little things we have (refer to count your blessing in earlier post)
Mulling over the two traits above, it actually makes a lot of sense. One can be so happy with so little if you think of others with so much less and reacting positively over calamities is certainly less stressful.
As I dragged my aching body off the bed, I thank God that I am still able to walk and have a job to go to.
As I was lying in bed (after telling my secretary that I would be late), I recalled a session with Dr Fatma where she talked about how to be happy and stay happy in life. I mean, everyone knows that having everything doesn't mean that you are happy. Dr Fatma has given 12 Do's and Don't's which I will talk about in future post (well maybe some of them), but in summary the main two things according to her are
1. to be steadfast ('bersabar') and 'redha'(wholeheartedly agree to the decision to what Allah has decided upon) upon any calamities
2. to be grateful for every little things we have (refer to count your blessing in earlier post)
Mulling over the two traits above, it actually makes a lot of sense. One can be so happy with so little if you think of others with so much less and reacting positively over calamities is certainly less stressful.
As I dragged my aching body off the bed, I thank God that I am still able to walk and have a job to go to.
Wednesday 11 January 2012
Staying Healthy
Many ask me how I maintain my weight. Usually I would say no rice for dinner or exercise 5 times a week or drink plenty of water, etc, etc. Those are the stuff that I do. But the truth is I have problem maintaining my weight. My weight fluctuates and its frustrating when I need to wear a certain dress and found that its too tight. That signals that its time to go on a diet again. Usually I would gain 3 kg and lose 2. I am now 10kg more than 20 years ago.
It takes a LOT of discipline actually. Getting up earlier to do a half hour on the exercise bike. Staying away from my favorite pastry and chocolate. And no late night snacks.
And it gets harder and harder as I get older as the metabolic rate gets lower.
Sigh....
Next time anyone ask me I will tell them: It's not that easy.
Good nite all.
It takes a LOT of discipline actually. Getting up earlier to do a half hour on the exercise bike. Staying away from my favorite pastry and chocolate. And no late night snacks.
And it gets harder and harder as I get older as the metabolic rate gets lower.
Sigh....
Next time anyone ask me I will tell them: It's not that easy.
Good nite all.
Tuesday 10 January 2012
Life is like that
Life is a continuous learning. One can be surprised that if we really open up our mind and heart we can learn from someone that we totally never expected. Even from a little child. The wide eyed innocent child who keeps asking you with a million questions and suddendly we realised that we dont really have all the answers.
One thing I learnt from this child is : never be afraid to ask.
Good nite.
One thing I learnt from this child is : never be afraid to ask.
Good nite.
Count your Blessing
Click here
A friend send me this link and its too good not to be shared with everyone else. In deed, we have a lot to be grateful for compared to others in some other parts of the world.
A friend send me this link and its too good not to be shared with everyone else. In deed, we have a lot to be grateful for compared to others in some other parts of the world.
Monday 9 January 2012
Before I go to sleep....
On the very first day of the year 2012 I had the greatest opportunity to hear a taskirah and some of the stuff that I heard has given me a good guidance for the rest of the year. One of them was this: our IMAN is always fluctuating and one way to keep our Iman consistent is to always live in FEAR and HOPE. Fear of His Judgement (balasan) and Hope that our deeds (amalan) is accepted.....
Lets sleep on that. Good Nite.
Lets sleep on that. Good Nite.
Facing Challenges.....
This is one of my favourite song. With such an inspirational lyrics and beautiful voice, I can never get tired of it
A NEW BEGINNING
Salam,
Yippee! Finally I have a blog! Ha ha ha... been meaning to for quite awhile and I have made it my new year resolution to get it done and at last its finally here. Alhamdulilah. Thanks for your help Han!
On this blog you will find my thoughts and scribble from what I learnt from people that I interact with as well as some questions that I may have going round and round my head that may need an opinion or two.
And..... I shall upload some of my favourite shots or videos from time to time.
Now...the challenge is how to make this blog interesting. Humph......
Yippee! Finally I have a blog! Ha ha ha... been meaning to for quite awhile and I have made it my new year resolution to get it done and at last its finally here. Alhamdulilah. Thanks for your help Han!
On this blog you will find my thoughts and scribble from what I learnt from people that I interact with as well as some questions that I may have going round and round my head that may need an opinion or two.
And..... I shall upload some of my favourite shots or videos from time to time.
Now...the challenge is how to make this blog interesting. Humph......
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