Bond for Life

A school friend of mine came to town last week and as usual we made arrangement to meet. And this time around a few others were also available to join us. It was always wonderful to catch up. Our conversation varied from retirement to weddings. But mostly we talk about illnesses and health. Yup. We are at that age where health is a subject that is discussed long and wide. Hee.....

As we were chatting away, my heart warmed to the thought that here are a bunch of people who care for each other. I feel blessed to have friends like them. Because of the couple of years that we spent together in a boarding school, we are bonded for life. When we talk, there is a deeper understanding among us. We talk and we listen with our heart. We feel for each other.

To all my friends out there, thank you for being in my life and be there for me. Be it in person or in your doa. Here's wishing you a lifetime of happiness and an easy path to Jannah.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

12 Amazing Tips to Become a Better Muslim!

(This article was posted on Hadith of the Day website meant for the new Muslims reverts (formerly known as convert). But I find that they are good tips for us who are raised as Muslims too. Except for no 2 of course. Hope that you will benefit from the tips below. InsyaAllah)

1. Practice Islam as much as you can

“He who loves my Sunnah has loved me, and he who loves me will be with me in Paradise.”
-The Prophet Muhammad (saw- (Tirmidhi)

As a new Muslim, you will have trouble keeping up with prayers every day, fasting during Ramadan, and the many other practices in this religion. The struggle that we face, with such a radical change in lifestyle, is difficult and will take some time. Awkward moments are bound to happen, don’t fret. You are not expected to wake up at 4am every morning to pray tahajjud (extra night prayers). If you have problems with certain practices, then gradually work yourself into the mindset of worship. A counselor once told me when I was young, “How do you eat an elephant? Just One bite at a time.” Think of it as one step at a time. Pray to Allah (swt) and ask for Him to make it easy for you and the rest will come naturally.

Keeping up with your devotional practices is something that will strengthen your faith immensely. Read the Qur’an whenever possible. Find a collection of hadith, such as Riyadh us-Saliheen, and read it often. You will start to feel a connection to Allah (swt) and you will become used to Islam as a religion and way of life.

2. Respect your parents

“Heaven lies under the feet of your mother.”
-The Prophet Muhammad (saw)-(Ahmad, Nasa’i)

Keeping up a good relationship with your family is essential. Try to avoid bringing up or taking part in controversial subjects regarding religion. This is almost unavoidable, but your parents will eventually accept that Islam is not going to turn you into a terrorist if you stay calm during these tense moments. Gradually, your parents will gain some respect and understanding of Islam and may start to become genuinely interested. This is a great sign and insha’Allah, God will make a way for them to accept Islam.

What you do not want to do is act like you know everything, attempt to debate everything, or overly defend yourself in a way that might make you angry or upset. This will just cause heartache and uneasiness. Your priority now should be to work on yourself.

3. Find a teacher

“For him who follows a path for seeking knowledge, Allah will ease for him the path to Paradise.”
-The Prophet Muhammad (saw)-(Muslim)

Finding a teacher to bounce ideas off of is a great way to learn your deen (religion). I found it is good to find someone with as much knowledge as possible who also has an understanding of the English language and American culture. It is difficult to listen to someone with a thick accent or someone with a back-home mentality. When I first accepted Islam, I would drive every day to visit my teacher and I would ask him what seemed like an endless stream of questions. Sometimes he seemed overwhelmed! This is a great way to clarify things you hear on Sheikh Youtube or Google or any part of the Qur’an you are reading at the time.

This will also help you have a real grounding in the Islamic tradition. You will eventually have spent more time learning Islam than most people from Muslim families. Maintain a sense of humility if you do gain a lot of knowledge, as there will always be someone who will be more knowledgeable than you. Learn everything you can in small chunks, no one is asking you to be a scholar!

4. Keep away from debates and arguments

“Verily anger spoils faith as aloe spoils honey.” -The Prophet Muhammad (saw)-(Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi)

Trying to constantly defend your religion is something that will cause you a lot of stress. I remember when I first accepted Islam, it seemed like the whole world was after me. This may happen to different people at different levels, but it was a very overwhelming experience for me. The best thing to do is avoid these arguments at all costs. If you are mature about your religion and display a desire to explain yourself without refuting others, then many doors will open for you. You are bound to give someone a refreshing view of Islam, which is what so many people are hungry for after seeing Islam in such a negative light in the media.

Staying away from these discussions will put you at peace and give you breathing room. A lot of converts are not really comfortable with bringing up their religion because of the backlash they receive. Personally, I recognized that if I just mention it when necessary, I get a more positive reaction. You’ll be surprised to hear “Oh that’s cool dude, what made you pick that religion?” This is always an opportunity for da’wah (inviting to Islam).

5. Gain a connection to the Arabic language

“Indeed, We have sent it down as an Arabic Qur’an that you might understand.”
-The Holy Qur’an, 12:2

This is one of my favorite parts of becoming a Muslim. To be honest, I’m a language-lover and I realize everyone is not the same in this regard. Just because you failed high school Spanish though doesn’t mean you will have trouble with Arabic. There are many tricks to learning the language that I won’t go into here, but there are ways to make this easier on yourself. These methods can be found online or in books; with a little research you can pave your way to gaining an understanding of Arabic.

Start by learning the alphabet and connecting letters together. You can learn this in an afternoon if you know someone that is a native Arabic speaker (but go at your own pace). Sit on that for a while and eventually you will be able to follow along in the Qur’an if you listen to a recitation on your computer or MP3 player. You will start to recognize words, after which you can get into simple grammar rules. I recommend learning common nouns and prepositions first (words like “in”, “on”, “for” and “with”).

Arabic can be really enjoyable, and you are bound to gain an Islamic vocabulary after listening to talks or lectures. Eventually you will know meanings of words like “furqaan” and “sajdah” and you’ll be able to use them in conversations with Muslims. Sabr (patience) is essential!

6. Understand Islam’s organic nature

“Those who make things hard for themselves will be destroyed. (He said it three times.)”
-The Prophet Muhammad (saw)-(Muslim)

Coming to Islam will sometimes put you in a situation where you are overwhelmed with opinions that are hard to follow. As an example, one might be told that you have to wash your feet every time you make wudhu (ablution) unless you wipe over leather socks that have been worn from your previous wudhu. For most Americans, the idea of wearing leather socks is something that we find extremely unusual. If we do a little research, we find there are opinions of scholars that mention the permissibility of wiping over cotton socks (even ones with holes in them!). To an American convert, these opinions can cause a huge sigh of relief.

7. Maintain your Identity

“O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.” -The Holy Qur’an, 49:1

Being a Muslim is a huge part of your identity now. That doesn’t mean you can’t barbeque with your friends or watch football on Sundays. If there are things in your culture that do not directly contradict with basic Islamic creed, then you are welcome to keep those things in your life. You do not need to start wearing Arab or Indian clothing. As long as your clothes cover what they are supposed to cover, you are in the clear.

Many converts are also exposed to really weird food that is overly spicy or funny tasting. This might lead us to think that eating curry is sunnah or something righteous. We can still have our own culture and tastes in food: pot roast and beans are still halal!

There are many other examples of things that you will be exposed to that are from foreign cultures and do not necessarily have anything to do with Islam. Our goal as new Muslims is to worship Allah (swt), not to add a Pakistani or Arab identity to our persona.

It is good to have a teacher who understands the subtleties of different opinion in fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence) and can inform you of differences among the scholars on issues that are of concern. Most people in masajid will have a very limited view of the juristic possibilities inside the Islamic tradition. Islam is a vast tradition and we should not make it small. These diverse opinions are there to help us, not cause strain on ourselves.

8. Force yourself to go to the masjid

“The person who receives the greatest reward for the Salah is one who lives the farthest and has the farthest to walk.” -The Prophet Muhammad (saw)-(Bukhari, Muslim)

Going on Fridays is a given, but I would also recommend trying to fit a few prayers (at least) per week in the masjid. This will open many doors for you and will insha’Allah grant many good deeds to your account. You will meet people who are connected to Islam; networking opportunities are more readily available; and you are bound to make long-lasting friends. This is one of the things that I really love about Islam, that you can almost always find people in the masjid.

Although this may be hard initially, try and go to the masjid. The payoff will be huge, even if you just pray and leave right after. You will eventually warm up to the community and you can feel more comfortable going to the masjid whenever you like.

9. Find Muslim friends and avoid severing ties

“On the Day of Resurrection Allah Almighty will proclaim: “Where are those who have mutual love for My Glory’s sake? Today I shall shelter them in My shade where there is no shade but Mine.” -The Prophet Muhammad (saw)-(Muslim)

Saying “As-salamu ‘Alaykum” ( “Peace be upon you”) to people you see on campus or at the grocery store is a real blessing in Islam. It immediately lets people know you are Muslim and they usually will be happy to return the greeting and hopefully share a few words with you. Doors of friendship will be opened and you will meet lots of people. Try and spend some time with Muslims when you can. It is beneficial to remind yourself that you are not the only Muslim on the planet and you share your religion with almost 2 billion people around the globe.

Also, don’t sever your friendships with your non-Muslim friends unless they are constantly partying or using the list of major sins as their weekend to-do list. You can be a light to your Christian, Agnostic, Jewish, or Atheist friends. You never know who Allah (swt) will guide, and showing that you are living an ethical life can encourage these people to learn a little about Islam or change their mind to having a positive view of the religion.

10. Avoid Loneliness

“Islam began as something strange and will revert to being strange as it began, so give glad tidings to the strangers.” -The Prophet Muhammad (saw)- (Muslim)

This is a major problem in the convert community. We are lonely. The best thing we can do to fight the feeling of loneliness is to spend as much time as possible with good company. Having dinners with people a few nights a week is a sure way to maintain a good attitude. The practice of becoming a nun or a monk is alien to Islam; we are social creatures and Islam recognizes this.

Try not to lock yourself away in your apartment to avoid the world. This will just cause a vicious cycle that will cause deep depression and can lead to searching for solace in haram (unlawful).

Make it an obligation on yourself to remain a sociable human being. It takes a lot of work but the result is happiness and contentment in life.

11. Stay away from extremism

“And thus we have made you a just community that you will be witnesses over the people.”
-The Holy Qur’an, 2:143

Most converts do not enter Islam looking for an extremist point of view. Unfortunately, we have seen some converts do end up overseas working for terrorist organizations. This is something that can happen from a person feeling victimized or ostracized by their own culture and being overcome with anger.

I personally have not had a problem with anyone trying to “radicalize” me. It does happen enough though that it should be a concern. It will be best for you to keep your head on your shoulders and not get caught up with extreme points of view. Know that all of the scholars overseas and in America have absolutely refuted terrorism in their fatawa (legal rulings). Extremism is on the very edges of the Islamic thought. Do your best to stay on a middle way.

12. Do not despair

“So know that victory is with patience, and relief is with distress and that with hardship comes ease.” -The Prophet Muhammad (saw)

Being a convert to Islam, you will face a lot of tribulations. There is not anything that you cannot overcome though, and never despair in Allah (swt).

Allah (swt) guided to you to Islam, you searched for the answer and you found it. Be happy and constantly remind yourself of the blessings in your life. There are a lot of good things that will happen to you and you are on the straight road to Jannah(paradise). Rejoice in being Muslim. Remember the Sahabah (companions) were all converts to Islam and they were human beings that came from Adam and Eve just like you! Be strong and find comfort in your prayers and worship to Allah (swt). The first six months were the hardest for me, and insha’Allah we will all continue to grow as a convert community in America.

Original source: http://www.suhaibwebb.com/society/dawah/12-tips-for-the-convert-muslim/

The Way of Life

I attended one of the lecture series by Mufti Menk last night and even though what he talked about is similar reminder by most "Great Men of Religion" his delivery was really captivating. Not only he has a vast knowledge of the religion, he is also extremely knowledgable about the current affairs of the world. One of the examples he used last night was the Samsung S4 launch! Goes to show how much he keeps abreast with worldly matters apart from matters of the religion.

Anyway, I scribbled some notes just as a reminder to myself.

In a nutshell, the talk is centered on two main headline:
1) human are created to worship Allah
2) prophet Muhammad (SAW) is the messenger to show us how and the Quran is our guide.

I like to think that every Muslims is very much aware of that. But to practice to be a good Muslim ie to worship Allah is a real challenge, can be a real struggle to some, with the devils or Syaitan in our every footstep. Ahead of us even, ready to deviate us from the right path, from doing good.

That's why every time when we recite the Al Fatihah in our prayers, we keep asking Allah to keep us on the right path and not make us deviate the way the jews and the christians. They had their own prophets or messengers and their own "guide" book and they also have been taught to worship Allah. It is all the work of the Syaitan, explained Mufti Menk. Many years later after the messengers were long gone, Syaitan has managed to turned them into disbelievers.

I like the way he akin our "Iman" as a precious stone. A diamond even. If we want our diamond to stay shiny, we have to keep polishing it. We have to gain more knowledge. The more we know the less likely we get tricked into replacing our diamond to a fake one right under our nose without even realising it.

In another word, we must know exactly what is written in the Quran and what is stated in the sunnah. Anything other than that should not be practiced or it will "bidaah" or worse "Syirik". God forbid. And thats exactly what Syaitan wants us to be.

There are other interesting examples he gave us last night but I think this is enough for now.

But one thing for sure, if we are on the right path, we will feel the "nikmah" and inner contentment.

May Allah keep us in our faith and grant us Jannah. Ameen.

Spread the Happiness

Fun and Laughter

Food and Fun

I had such lovely time with my girlfriends over dinner last night. I had a really long day yesterday and was feeling rather tired. Almost didn't make it but I am really glad that I did. It was a night of pure indulgance and filled with laughter. It's a long time since I laughed until I cried. Oh! The food was lovely too!

Anyways, one of my friends reminded me that I have 9 more to go in the list of "Things to Stop Doing to be Happy". I don't promise to go through all in the list, only those that strike my mind.

After so much fun last night I was thinking that this is such an antidote to stress at work. Sometime the stress in the office is not so much work related but more people related. It reminded me one of the items in the list.

Ok lets see what it says:
5. Whining.
Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about your problems makes you feel worse, not better.
If something is wrong, don't waste time complaining. Put that effort into making the situation better. Unless you want to whine about it forever, eventually you'll have to do that. So why waste time? Fix it now.
Don't talk about what's wrong. Talk about how you'll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself.
And do the same with your friends or colleagues. Don't just be the shoulder they cry on.
Friends don't let friends whine, friends help friends make their lives better.

*end of quote*

What do you think? I am sure you hear the whining in the office every now and then. Sigh...

I think that there are some people who are just born "whiners" if there is such a word. They always have something to complain about and they can go on and on about it for days on end over the same subject matter. Sometime I feel like telling them to shut up already and do something about it or go and take a hike!

I always believe in taking action over something that you are not happy with. We have to take control of our own life. No matter how tight a situation we are in, we have to snap out of it and make a decision that would enable us to move on. If we don't do it ourselves we may just be stuck and forever be unhappy. And that is one unhealthy and miserable position.

But sometimes there are whiners who whine about trivial matters that I just cannot fathom why. My conclusion on this is that if we show more gratitude (bersyukur) with every little thing that we have bestowed upon us, we will not become whiners. These kind of whiners should look at how the less unfortunate lives (did you watch the video I posted on FB about how a family live on scrap from a fast food joint? Sad but true!)

Anyways, the week end is here. I hope that everyone out there will have a fabulous week end with your loved ones. School is out, so take 'time-out' and spend quality time with the family. One of life best sound in the world is the the shriek of joy and laughter of pure fun and happiness from children.

Happy children will grow into happy adult!

Cheers!

Things to Stop doing to be Happy

Happiness be it in your business life or your personal life, is often a matter of subtraction, not addition.

Consider, for example, what happens when you stop doing the following 10 things:

1. Blaming.
People make mistakes. Employees don't meet your expectations. Vendors don't deliver on time.
So you blame them for your problems.
But you're also to blame. Maybe you didn't provide enough training. Maybe you didn't build in enough of a buffer. Maybe you asked too much, too soon.
Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of blaming others isn't masochistic, it's empowering, because then you focus on doing things better or smarter next time.
And when you get better or smarter, you also get happier.

*pause*

Ok. Fyi, I copied that (the above) from one of the article from LinkedIn Today which I received on my email on 21 March 2013. I thought it was an interesting read. Usually the advice has always been what to do but this time around the advice is about what NOT to do.

For one, I totally agree to the no 1 in the list. I see this all the time and all around me. Whenever something wrong happens, the usual thing is that someone needs to be blamed upon. Why can't we look at ourselves first before pointing our finger to someone else. Better still, why is there any need to put the blame in someone at all. Just find a way around the situation and move forward. Learn from the mistake and make sure that it doesn't happen again.

Raise above yourself! Raising your voice in anger and scaring everyone around you will not solve the problem any quicker. Instead stay cool and calm while accessing the situation. Trust me, it will do good on the blood pressure too.

Well, enough said. This is just my two cents worth anyway. Just my thought, no one has to agree with it by the way :)

As for the other 9, I will just give you the headline as I have to call it a night.

2. Impressing
3. Clinging
4. Interupting
5. Whining
6. Controling
7. Criticizing
8. Preaching
9. Dwelling
10. Fearing.

Maybe I will pick up one or two more from the list and deliberate further..... Another time.

Good nite peeps. I am bushed.
Salam. Maaf zahir batin.

Life is Precious

Hope and Despair

It was a sad Friday in the office last week. We were informed of a tragic accident involving family members of our colleague. A car in which her husband was driving was involved in an accident which caused 4 death and two critically injured. In deed, the news saddened us all and left us feeling helpless. It made my own little 'problem' seems so little compared to what our colleague has to go through. With a husband and daughter in ICU while her Mom, sister, daughter and maid passed away.

Yes, life is precious. Life is fragile. I was just telling someone that I have totally accepted what I have to personally go through. I am fully prepared. Death can happen tomorrow, or a year or two later or many more years. We can only do our best and prepare for the worse. With lots of hope and prayers. Tawakal alAllah

But then again, it does not apply only for those with a critical illness but also for us all who are healthy and fit. Death can happen to us tomorrow too. (I have written about this in an earlier post).

Nevertheless, when something like this happen, it just shocked and numbed everyone. We were all lost for words. No words can ever express out deepest sympathy to the grieving family. All we can offer is our prayers apart from what little we can offer in terms of physical and financial support.

To Hazita and Haniza, have total faith in what Allah has in store. Bersangka baik kepada Allah. Afterall, as the saying goes, with every cloud there is a silver lining. It may sound so cliche but it is also very true.

And let this incident be a reminder to us all. In time like this, this is one of the most powerful surah to recite.

Have a good week everyone.

Salam.

Inspiration and Motivation

Its just over a year since I started my blog. I wanted to start much earlier but I never got round to it and I must admit that at one time I didn't even know how.

Anyway, some may wonder why the need to have a blog. I guess there are many reasons why others have blogs; some keep it as a journal of their travel, some write a blog like a diary; writing down the going ons in their daily life, while some make it as a business page.

For me, it's a way to channel my thought into 'paper'. I have always been a person who is able to express better in writing than in words. And as I grow older I find that there are thoughts in my head that sometime can be weird to talk about.

So, as I transfer my pondering and musing into writing, it doesn't matter to me if no one reads it nor like it. It is my means to express my feeling and get these "I wonder why"s and "what if"s off my head. Some may say that it sounds like a therapy. Well, may be it is.

If you notice I also like to attach mini posters whenever I find something which I feel worth keeping. They are more inspirational words or reminders to my own self. And sometimes simply because I like the photo or caption.

But if someone does read my blog, I would like that my writing to be able to trigger some thoughts to them too. Make them ponder and muse too. Even better if what I write is able to inspire or motivate. I hope that I will be able to that sometime.

I may not be writing as often as last year, but for sure I will continue to 'jot' down what I feel is worth sharing.

Stay safe everyone.

Salam and good nite.

Life is a scream

Sometimes its a scream of fright. And at times it's a scream of delight. What ever it is, whenever it is, if we can remain calm at all time, and maintain the state of joy and peacefulness in times of adversary or happiness, that would be the ultimate contentment in life.

Life is full of challenges and a series of 'tests'. As someone told me, it is only lesson learnt when we turn a mistake into an experience. And use the experience to our advantage. Afterall, it happened for a reason.

Allah promises us that along with the hardship there is ease (surah Al-Inshirah 94:5-6). Therefore, we must make every step we take relevant to where we are going. (refer to earlier post "New Year Resolution")

But then again, many of us turn to Allah only in times of calamity or pain where as Allah little tests are beyond that. More often than not we would forget ourselves or our 'pledge' when we "have it all".

Just as a reminder to us all, one our pledge that we make at least 5 times a day in our prayer is:
"In deed my solah,my ibadah, my life, my death, is for Allah, the Lord of the 'Alamin (all that exist/sekian alam) - Dua Iftitah.

If we can keep to our word and keep reminding ourselves of those words, then we are on the right track.

InsyaAllah.....

Rules of Life